What to say and How to say it: Small Scripts to Use When You Need to deal with Child Care

Before you Hit send: See What managers (and company policies) usually expect

• Give notice as soon as practical and say when you’ll be available next. (That “as soon as possible and practical” standard mirrors federal FMLA guidance.)

• Keep health details brief. You usually don’t need to share medical specifics; many state paid‑sick‑leave laws include confidentiality provisions and allow leave to care for a child.

• Use the approved channel (call, text, HR portal) and name a coverage plan (“X can lead the 9 a.m.; I’ll send notes”). Many employers spell this out in their call‑in/notice rules.

• If this becomes recurring or multi‑day, ask HR about intermittent or reduced‑schedule leave if you’re FMLA‑eligible (12 months, 1,250 hours, at a 50+ employee site).

• Context: Women can face caregiver bias (“motherhood penalty”), so be concise, professional, and solution‑oriented—state the plan, not just the problem.

6 plug‑and‑play scripts

Each has a Chat/Slack version (quick), an Email version (a touch more detail), and a Phone talk‑track (if you need to call).

1) Running late (child‑care hiccup; you’ll still arrive today)

Chat (Slack/Teams)“Quick heads‑up: I’m delayed by a child‑care issue—ETA [10:30 a.m.]. [Colleague] will start the 9:00; I’ll pick up [agenda item] on arrival.”

Email (subject + 2 lines)Subject: Late arrival today — ETA [10:30]Hi [Manager], a child‑care issue pushed my start this morning. I’ll be in by [10:30]. [Colleague] is covering [meeting/task]; I’ll own [deliverable] on arrival.

Phone (30 seconds)“Hi [Manager], it’s [Name]. I’m running late due to a child‑care snag. I’ll arrive by [time]. [Colleague] can kick off [meeting]; I’ll take [task] when I get in.”

2) Running late (sick child; arranging backup; partly available)

Chat“Child is sick; I’m arranging backup and will be online by [time] and onsite by [time]. I’ve posted [link] so the team can proceed.”

EmailSubject: Brief delay this morning — online by [time]Hi [Manager], my child is unwell. I’ll be reachable online by [time] and onsite by [time]. Links and notes are in [doc/channel] so [team] can move ahead.

Phone“My child is ill; I’m securing coverage. I’ll be online by [time] and arrive by [time]. The handoff is in [doc]; anything urgent you want me to triage first?”

3) Leaving early (same‑day pediatric appointment)

Chat“I need to leave at [2:30] for a pediatric appointment. Morning priorities: [A/B]. I’ll finish [C] after [X p.m.] unless you prefer another plan.”

EmailSubject: Early departure today — [2:30 p.m.]Hi [Manager], I have a pediatric appointment at [2:45], so I’ll leave at [2:30]. [A/B] will be wrapped before I go; [C] this evening or first thing morning—your preference.

Phone“I’m stepping out at [2:30] for my child’s appointment. I’ll close [A] and [B] before I go and finish [C] later today or early tomorrow—does that work?”

4) Taking the rest of the day off (child sent home sick)

Chat“My child was sent home sick. I’ll sign off at [time] and use [sick leave/PTO]. Hand‑offs: [X→Name], [Y→Name]. I’ll check [Teams/Email] at [4 & 7 p.m.].”

EmailSubject: Out this afternoon — sick childHi [Manager], I need to be out the rest of today to care for my sick child; I’ll use [sick leave/PTO]. [X] is with [Name]; [Y] is queued for [tomorrow 10 a.m.]. I’ll peek at messages around [4] and [7] for anything urgent.

Phone“My child is sick and I need to sign off now; I’ll mark [sick leave/PTO]. [Name] has [X] and [Y] is scheduled for [time]. I’ll check messages at [times].”

5) Full day off (short‑notice; using leave)

Chat“Requesting a full day off today to care for my sick child; I’ll use [sick leave/PTO]. Coverage: [Name] owns [A]; I’ve rescheduled [meeting] to [time/date].”

EmailSubject: Out today — caregiving (using [sick leave/PTO])Hi [Manager], I need today off to care for my sick child. I’ll use [sick leave/PTO] and have moved [meeting] to [date/time]. [Name] will handle [A]; I’ll deliver [B] by [tomorrow/time].

Phone“I need a full day today to care for my child. I’ll take [sick leave/PTO]. [Name] can cover [A]; I’ve rescheduled [meeting] to [time/date]. I’ll be back [tomorrow/time].”

6) Temporary flexibility ask (several days of care)

Chat“Could we shift my hours to [7–3] for the next [5] workdays while my child recovers? I’ll cover [A/B], join key meetings, and send an end‑of‑day update.”

EmailSubject: Temporary schedule adjustment request ([dates])Hi [Manager], for the next [#] days while my child recovers, may I work [7–3] (or remote) and attend all critical meetings? I’ll keep [A/B] on track and send daily status at [time]. If this needs to be formal, I can coordinate with HR.

Phone“Could we temporarily shift my hours to [7–3] for [dates]? I’ll keep [A/B] moving, attend key meetings, and send daily updates. If HR paperwork is needed, I’ll start it today.”

Tip: If it’s more than a day or two and you’re eligible, intermittent FMLA can formalize recurring care needs and protect your job. Ask HR about options.

One‑time vs. monthly realities (what to expect)

• One‑time events (doctor visit, a day of care): brief notice + clear ETA or return date is usually enough.

• Multi‑day/recurring needs: formalize with HR (e.g., intermittent leave or state paid sick leave, where available). Many states now require some level of paid sick leave and outline notice and anti‑retaliation protections—helpful if you’re caring for a child. DOL

• If you’re proposing flexibility, frame it around outcomes (“I’ll cover A/B and keep deadlines”)—that aligns with modern guidance on effective flexibility agreements. Harvard Business Review

Why these scripts are designed this way

They cover the four things managers need to hear fast: (1) what’s happening (briefly), (2) when you’ll be available next, (3) what’s happening to today’s work, and (4) what help or approval you need. They also respect privacy, follow typical notice expectations, and—crucially—anticipate the bias women often face by emphasizing ownership and continuity.